Once Upon A Time
by Cardel
Summary: Before Kingdome Hearts was opened, before Radiant Garden became Hallow Bastion, before Ansem became Diz and before Xehanort became a Nobody and a Heartless there was Ansem, the teacher and Xehanort the apprentice.  This is their story.  Yaoi. Ch 3 UP!
1. The beginning, part I

A/N: Please read. So this story will take place before either game and is based, very, very loosely, on the Ansem reports, having said that all theories and speculations I make in this fic are unfounded and should not be taken seriously. I just wanted to write a story about these two because I love them together

Paring: Ansem/Xehanort

Rating: M (overall)

Warning: Spoilers for both games, I think. Based loosely on the Ansem reports from both games.

Disclaimer: Not mine

**The beginning, Part I**

It was cold, so cold, and dark. The ground beneath him was hard and equally cold; a cold breeze penetrated through his clothes and made him shiver. His eyes were tightly shut as he curled around himself. He had been conscious of his surroundings for some time; he was in a forest, for how long exactly, he did not know.

In fact he knew nothing. He wasn't sure where he was or what had happened, he couldn't remember anything. How long had he been there on the ground shivering from the cold? He had no idea and his lack of any real knowledge about his situation was what kept him immobile, frightened.

Was anyone looking for him? Would anyone want to look for him? Had he been abandoned? Or had he been cast out as an abomination? Why had no one found him? Maybe, maybe he had done something terrible and as punishment he was cast out; to be forever alone in this darkness.

He felt hot tears sliding past his tightly closed eyelids. What was worse, than being lost, was not knowing what he had done, he couldn't remember anything. He had been trying so hard to remember something anything, but his mind was blank. Perhaps if he remembered something he could make things right.

"Hello" He froze as he heard a voice, laced with curiosity, call out. Someone had found him.

The relief that brought him was so up lifting he opened his eyes. The first thing he realized was that it wasn't so dark. Slowly a man came to kneel by his side. The man had long blond hair and soft amber eyes that were looking at him kindly.

"Are you hurt?" The stranger's voice was a deep soothing tone. Overwhelmed with feelings he pushed himself from the ground and threw his arms around the stranger.

Without any will power he cried into the man's shoulder, when he felt the man return the embrace he cried even more. This man was going to help him and with that thought he gave into exhaustion and let his body find rest.

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The next thing he was aware of was warmth and lying on something comfortable, like a bed. Slowly opening his eyes he took in the room he found himself in. He noticed he was not lying on a bed, but a rather large chaise bed.

And the room, it was a library or some type of study area; he assumed due to the books all around. There was also a fire place nearby; he could hear the crackling of burning wood. Across from him on the end of the room there were floor to ceiling windows in the reflection he could see the warm glow of the fire place beyond that it was dark; he shivered.

"Are you alright?" He heard the voice of the kind man and quickly sat up to locate him.

"I, I think so." He replied his throat feeling scratchy.

As if reading his mind, the kind man approached him with a steaming mug. He took it without question knowing somehow this man would not hurt him. Taking a gulp of the sweet liquid, he licked his lips and turned to look at the man.

"Thank you." He whispered. The man smiled in return.

"Who are you? Where am I?" The young man questioned.

"My name is Ansem and we are currently in my library; it was easier than carrying you to one of the guest rooms in the second floor. " Ansem explained and the boy smiled back his eyes beginning to droop listening to the soft voice of the man talking to him.

"And who might you be?" That question made his eyes open wide and panic began to settle back in his body.

The boy looked around startled as if expecting his memories to rush back to him. When that didn't happen he looked at the man, Ansem, with panicked eyes. "I don't remember."

Seeing the fear in the young man's eyes Ansem put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry. It's late and you're tired. Get some rest tonight and tomorrow you'll feel better. I'll show you where you may rest."

Ansem helped the young man stand and as if he had no will of his own the boy allowed himself to be pulled along. Ansem frowned and hoped this memory loss was only temporary.

Arriving at an empty guest room, Ansem led the young man inside.

"You may rest here and we'll speak in the morning."

"But I don't remember anything," The boy said turning panicked eyes to Ansem.

"Rest tonight, tomorrow things may, yet, look better." The boy nodded, this man had found him, brought him to shelter. Around him, he felt protected and safe.

"Okay." He whispered. Ansem left. With some effort, the tired youth crawled onto the spacious bed; he was asleep before his head touched the pillow.

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Nothing. The boy could remember absolutely nothing. No one in Radiant Garden knew him and no news of anyone looking for him was heard. Ansem didn't know what to do. He could not, very well, leave this young man to his own device. His consciousness would not allow him. He wanted to help him, but he also wanted to have him productive.

At least the boy had a name now, Xehanort. Xehanort had merely explained he had had a dream and the only thing he could remember about it was the name Xehanort, which he had taken for himself, though it was clear that he was unsure if the name was truly his.

"Ansem?" Xehanort's voice interrupted his train of thoughts. He looked up to see Xehanort standing on the threshold of the library.

"Come in." He motioned for Xehanort to sit in one of the chairs before his desk.

"There is a Captain Squall Leaonhart and Lt. Cloud Strife who wish to speak with you. They wait in the sitting room."

Regardless of his memory loss, Ansem found it intriguing how Xehanort's body seemed to remember his past or at least his past upbringing. He carried himself with the air of a person born to wield power, his presence demanded attention and not to mention his regal facial features spoke loudly of aristocrat blood.

"Thank you." Ansem stood from his chair and made his way around the desk stopping near Xehanort.

"And Xehanort..." The young man turned to look up at him

"Let the help answer doors and deliver messages. You do not have to; you are a guest in my home."

"But I feel as if I should be doing something to repay your kindness" Xehanort explained with a small frown creasing his forehead.

Ansem smiled. "Kindness comes from the goodness of one's heart and it is neither bought nor sold but freely given."

The words made Xehanort's heart flutter as a warm feeling spread through his body. His frown turned to a smile as he looked at Ansem.

"I'll be back shortly. Feel free to finish the tome you were reading yesterday."

Ansem turned to leave but Xehanort's voice stopped him. "I already have."

Turning, Ansem looks curiously at Xehanort, "Really?" He questioned. "What did you think of it?"

The book Xehanort had been reading was a renowned book on rather controversial theories. He was eager to know what Xehanort thought, especially since he had finished the book so quickly.

"I feel the author is," he paused, "mistaken in his assumption that because things stop growing they remain unchanged, that they reach a plateau and remain forever the same. His error lies in ignoring the subtleties in change opting to report solely on results which favor his theory." Xehanort answered carefully hoping Ansem would not think his answer was unfounded and foolish.

Ansem smiled, "You sound quite convinced yet you say he is mistaken, but not wrong why?"

"To be wrong implies a finality; that leaves no room for further expansion. To be mistaken means errors can be corrected." Xehanort explained and seeing Ansem smile made him feel as he had answered correctly that in turn made him feel proud of his answer.

Perhaps it was due to Ansem's kindness but Xehanort felt that having Ansem's approval was very important. And pleasing his benefactor took priority second only to finding out who he was. And although, he wanted, very much, to know the reason for his current state, he saw no reason why he should want to return to his place of origin.

Why should he want to go back to a place where he was clearly not wanted? He was not dense; he knew Ansem was searching for his past. So far no one knew of him or of anyone looking for him. And if he had indeed been exiled, like he originally thought, no one would be looking for him. However, that was alright with him, for he was starting evermore to enjoy Ansem's knowledge and hospitality

Maybe he too had been a scholar wherever he had been from and that was the reason he took great pleasure in learning new things. And perhaps that was the reason why his thirst for knowledge seemed almost insatiable. What gave him great joy was seeing Ansem was the same.

Ansem's voice broke his silent musing.

"I shall take great pleasure discussing this with you further but for now I have visitors that I need to tend to." Ansem gave Xehanort a final nod and was out of the library. With the smile still in place he walked towards the sitting room.

There was no doubt in his mind, Xehanort had had a rich up bringing by people who valued art, literature, philosophy and science greatly. Ansem could not wait to learn what other aspects of his upbringing were still so embedded in Xehanort's being that even memory loss could not erase.

Entering the sitting room Ansem look at the guards, after a quick discussion of increasing the cities security since the appearance of the creature, they moved on to more other matters.

"Any news?" Ansem asked without further elaboration. Knowing his guards would understand what he was referring to. Ansem crossed his legs and waited for Squall or Cloud to talk.

"No, nothing, no one knows of him, no one is looking for him." Squall answered with a troubled expression. Squall had been a guard for years and was confident in his abilities but this request from Ansem had led him nowhere but to dead ends and left him with nothing but a feeling of failure he did not appreciate.

"It's as if he came from nowhere and merely began existing." Cloud continued equally troubled by Xehanort's appearance.

"Very well then I'm afraid to say that is that." Ansem spoke with a finality that had the two men in the room looking at him with twin frowns.

"That's it?" Squall asked trying not to sound personally offended by the mission being discontinued.

"What else can I do?" Ansem questioned his face turned to look out the window. "If he regains his memories then I will help him return home, if he so wishes. Until then he may stay here."

"What will you do with him?" Cloud asked already standing from his seat.

"Take him under my tutelage; he shows promising potential."

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I had forgotten how annoying it is to update and post here. Oh well, so tell me what you think and thanks for reading.

**If anyone wants to read the ****Ansem**** reports, I put up links in my profile,** just in case anyone wants to read them. You don't really need to read them for this story to make sense, but it helps a little.

Though remember the Ansem reports in KH I are written by Xehanort's heartless. The Ansem reports in KH II are written by the real Ansem (a.k.a Ansem the Wise)


	2. The beginning, Part II

**A/N:** It's funny how this was supposed to be a one-shot, but I changed my mind as it grew to 1500+ words. Also **I NEED A BETA** for this fic, please. Any takers?

Paring: Ansem/Xehanort

Rating: M (overall)

Warning: Spoilers for both games, I think. Based loosely on the Ansem reports from both games.

Disclaimer: Not mine

**The beginning, Part II**

Ansem had been right, Xehanort was a bright young man; regardless of his memory loss, his mind was sharp and quick. The young man picked things up quickly and eagerly.

At first the two men had been awkward around each other's company but after three months of living together, they had learned to find comfort in each other's company. Ansem had never lived with anyone, but Xehanort had such an easy going aura that it was difficult to not get used to his calming presence.

During Xehanort's stay Ansem had tutored the youth; his level of intelligence and his grasp on problem solving was such that he was considering telling him about his experiments. Ansem told himself the reason was to have a capable mind; that could shed new light to an old problem. And he ignored the voice that told him he just wanted to spend more time with Xehanort.

Thunder rumbled through the air followed by a lightning bolt, which illuminated the darkness outside and rattled the large window he stood before. Ansem watched the roaring storm, unflinching, while he pondered the idea of telling Xehanort about his experiment.

There was a light brush of fingertips on the back of his hand before he felt Xehanort lean into him with a sigh. This was another thing Ansem had discovered about Xehanort, he sought physical contact like a drowning man craved air.

Ansem summed up such need as to the young man being uncertain about his past. That however never stopped his heart from speeding up at the light touches.

"I love thunder storms." Xehanort whispered wistfully.

After a while Ansem moved, fearing he would give into temptation and touch his apprentice back.

"I have some errands to run before I retire for the night." Xehanort moved away from Ansem and nodded wondering, not for the first time, where the man went so late at night.

"Goodnight." Ansem said, and before he could move…

"Do you think I'm a bad person?" Xehanort asked in a rush of breath. The question had been in his mind for some time and he could no longer keep it to himself.

Ansem stopped, faced Xehanort who had a sad expression on his face. He wondered what had happened to bring such a question. Usually when his apprentice got this melancholic was when he went into the city, which was often; Xehanort would become sad watching families' interactions and friends laughing together.

However Xehanort's excursions into the city had become less frequent as the months wore on. Ansem had merely assumed Xehanort avoided being in the city because of how it made him feel. Now though it was clear Xehanort's recent aloofness had not much to do with the city.

"What brings you to ask such a thing?" Ansem asked confused.

Xehanort turned to look out the window. Ansem could see the tortured feelings crossing Xehanort's face and wanted nothing more than to make them go away.

"I've been here for three months now. I go out almost every day, but no one recognizes me they just smile kindly and shake their heads. No one has ever heard of me or of anyone searching for someone matching my description." Xehanort explained still not looking at Ansem.

"Do you think I was exiled here? Do you think I did something terrible and my punishment was to have my memories taken from me and be exiled where no one knows me?"

Ansem took a step closer to Xehanort and took his apprentice's face in his hand. The unshed tears made his eyes bright and made Ansem feel sad.

"Xehanort I don't know who you were or where you are form, but believe this if nothing else." He paused. "I don't believe you were a bad person or that you did anything terrible to deserve your memories being removed from you. What I do believe is that you cannot change who you are regardless of your memory loss. If you, in the past, were a terrible person than you could not, possibly, be the person you are now. Your unconscious psyche would not allow it."

With his fingers slowly caressing Xehanort, Ansem waited patiently for his apprentice to process what he had just said.

"Do you really believe that?" The hope in Xehanort's eyes made Ansem smile and nod with honesty.

"Thank you." Xehanort smiled and took a step closer to Ansem.

"I really must go now. I will see you in the morning." Ansem said quickly removing his hands from Xehanort's face. Xehanort merely nodded and watched Ansem leave the library.

With a sigh he turned back to the window to watch the rain dance with thunder and lightning.

For hours the raging storm was his only companion. Lightning illuminated the sky at the same time Xehanort realized his feelings for Ansem were not completely platonic.

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Winter came again to Radiant Garden. The snow storm outside swirled angrily and covered everything in white sheets of numbing cold. While on his lips all Xehanort could feel was the tingling left by the scorching heat of Ansem's lips on his own.

Closing his eyes he furrowed further in the warmth of his sheets and thought back to a few hours earlier when Ansem had kissed him. Xehanort sighed bringing his fingertips to his smiling lips. Ansem had pulled away startled and apologized, but that was okay. Now he knew Ansem returned his feelings with a smile he fell asleep.

In another part of the castle Ansem wasn't so lucky. Though it had been stupid to kiss his apprentice Ansem couldn't help but think about Xehanort's malleable lips, moving softly opening invitingly, he groaned as he let his mind replay that moment.

_Xehanort sometimes got in what Ansem liked to think funks. He would disappear for hours and when Ansem found him he would be in a funk, about his past. Ansem sometimes wished he could give Xehanort all the answers he wanted if it meant erasing the lost look in his eyes._

_Now looking for his apprentice Ansem wondered how deep in his funk the youth had gotten. As he walked down the corridor he stopped in the doors to the conservatory and through the glass walls he saw a figure covered in snow._

_With great speed he ran inside the conservatory and through the open door going outside. Ansem reached for Xehanort's hand and was surprised to feel it was still warm; he relaxed._

_"Xehanort, how long have you been out here?"_

_Xehanort smiled not looking at Ansem, "A few minutes." Slowly he turned to face his teacher. "Isn't it beautiful?" he asked with a smile._

_Ansem sucked in a breath, Xehanort looked breath taking, his cheeks were flushed from the cold his eyes bright with happiness his hair framing his face the wind making the long tendrils caress his face and carry the intoxicating scent that was Xehanort's only._

_Without registering what he was doing or caring, Ansem nodded and pulled Xehanort towards him and claimed Xehanort's lips. The fact that they were standing out in the cold became irrelevant. All they knew was the warmth their close bodies were sharing and the heat of each other's mouths._

_Bringing his hand behind Xehanort's head Ansem pulled the youth closer deepening their kiss. Xehanort's tongue played with Ansem's and both were quickly becoming addicted to each other's taste. Ansem was becoming intoxicated with the taste of his apprentice, with the feel of his pliable body pressed so closely to his. And his mouth, that mouth was on his and was all his._

_Xehanort shivered and Ansem knew the cold had nothing to do with it; it was an exhilarating feeling knowing he could cause Xehanort to react so strongly. Xehanort moaned softly into Ansem's mouth. Ansem realized the feelings worked both ways and he knew If he didn't pull away soon, Xehanort's mouth wasn't going to be the only thing Ansem claimed as his._

Closing his eyes Ansem sighed, he knew the best action now would be to distance himself from his apprentice. Nothing could come from that kiss; it would be foolish.

Though he knew at least here in the darkness of his room he could admit the truth to himself. He could admit it hadn't been due to stupidity that he had kissed Xehanort but pure desire which drove him to taste Xehanort's mouth.

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It had been a month since Xehanort had kissed Ansem and the man had not so much as given him a friendly pat on the shoulder. So Xehanort decided to regroup and make a new strategy. He just needed to think of one first.

"Good morning." Ansem greeted sitting down at the table. Ansem looked tired and seemed like he had slept a total of ten minutes. Xehanort frowned and took a bite of his breakfast and wondered, not for the first time, where his teacher went to every night.

"Where is it that you go to at night?" He decided to finally voice his thoughts.

Ansem sipped his warm tea, and felt his heart speed up. Gently he set down his cup barely making the accompanying sound of a clink as the cup met the saucer plate. He looked up at Xehanort.

"Do you really wish to know?" He asked. Xehanort looked startled not expecting Ansem to actually concede, he nodded.

"Very well I will show you after breakfast."

Xehanort nodded once more as they finished eating. And as promised after breakfast was over Ansem motioned for Xehanort to follow him. Arriving outside the library door Xehanort frowned.

"Ansem the library is not where you go every night." Xehanort stated.

"Be patient, my dear apprentice. There are things you must understand first." Xehanort watched Ansem move about the library as he tried not to read too much into being called dear.

Going behind his desk Ansem opened a drawer and retrieved some files. He walked around the desk and stood before Xehanort.

Xehanort looked from the files in Ansem's hand to Ansem's face. Ansem could swear the excitement radiating from his apprentice was palpable. He had been right, Xehanort was eager to know, eager to learn and eager to discover new things. Without hesitation Ansem handed the files to his apprentice.

"Go have a seat and make yourself comfortable. It'll take awhile." Ansem said directing Xehanort to a chair.

Doing as he was told, Xehanort sat on a comfortable chair. He opened the files and began reading its contents. From the first line he was lost, lost in the black ink and the secretes it revealed.

Reading page after page, Xehanort became convinced; Ansem was indeed a genius. As he read through the reports he felt, for the first time in his life, an intense curiosity and a hunger for knowledge he had never had before.

Hours later he looked up from the pages and stared unblinking out the widow, where the sun was already beginning to set. "This is incredible." He whispered in awe and turned to look at Ansem who sat behind his desk with a book in hand.

Setting his book aside Ansem smiled and stood. He walked towards Xehanort and stopped in front of him.

"Would you like to see?" Ansem asked his hand outstretched for Xehanort to take. In that gesture Xehanort knew Ansem was offering more than his hand, he was giving him his trust. Xehanort could only nod as he reached for his teacher's hand and was pulled gently to a standing position.

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"So that's a heartless?" Xanahort asked staring in fear and awe at the creature, encased in a glass cage, before him. Xehnort looked at the glass walls, which Ansem had explained were always carrying a current of magnetic waves to negate the negative and positive charge's the creatures emitted. The door he said sealed and opened magnetically too. This he had said kept the creatures in their glass cage.

The creature stirred and Xehanort's eyes were drawn back to it. The heartless was black, a black form with no facial features but for the yellow glowing eyes staring unblinking back at him. It made a strange noise and for some reason it would not look away from him.

"Yes, that is a heartless." Xehanort heard Ansem answer his voice coming from behind him. He felt a comforting hand on his shoulder. Xehanort let the warmth of Ansem's hand relax him as he tried not to cringe at the strange creature before him.

"What do you think? Are you still willing to help me with my research?"

Slowly Xehanort turned from the yellow eyes to face Ansem. Though his amber eyes showed slight fear Xehanort was above all else a scientist interested in seeking out answers; curious to find new things and explore and sometimes even exploit their limits.

"Of course." Xehanort answered smiling, his eyes holding a curiosity that sometimes worried Ansem.

Xehanort took a step closer to Ansem, Ansem let his hand drop form Xehanort's shoulder and he stepped back.

"Then we start tomorrow, now let's get some sleep." He pretended he didn't see the disappointment in Xehanort's eyes or the lowering of lashes, before his apprentice looked up again.

"Right." Xehanort agreed and walked past Ansem towards the exit.

With a sigh Ansem waited a few second before following. He questioned again if inviting Xehanort to aid him with his experiment had been a good idea. It took him no effort at all to see Xehanort felt attracted to him the kiss a few weeks back just proved his theory. Ansem knew what his apprentice wanted.

And however attractive Xehanort was he was still an, easily impressionable, young man. Ansem feared Xehanort had somehow mistaken the admiration he had for his teacher for something else. And he wondered if it was his doing.

If he thought about it, he had never consciously encouraged Xehanort's feelings towards him except for that kiss, which reflecting back on it had not been the best decision he had ever made. Though he could not bring himself to call it a mistake, for how Xehanort had explained, mistakes could be corrected and he wasn't sure he would have done things differently if he had the chance.

Admonishing Xehanort for his feelings was of course out of the question and would be hypocritical of him since he was guilty of harboring similar feelings towards his apprentice. Had he been unconsciously projecting those feelings? He hoped not.

Though it mattered not what he or Xehanort felt he wasn't interested in pursuing those feelings. He liked Xehanort it was difficult not to feel drawn to him, he was so young and full of life and curiosity, but above all he was his apprentice.

An apprentice who might have just picked up on his feelings and felt an obligation to return them; which made him feel sad, perhaps in another world another time he would have pursued Xehanort but not here and not now. They were scientist, they had questions to answer.

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**Note: **Again, the part with the heartless and how they are kept locked is just me making things up and most likely inaccurate and not even true in theory so don't take it to heart and let me know what you think.


	3. The beginning, Part III

I finally have a beta, yay! As a result I will be editing previous chapters, though there will be no major changes. However, any remaining errors are entirely my own.

Paring: Ansem/Xehanort

Rating: M (overall)

Warning: Spoilers for both games, I think. Based loosely on the Ansem reports from both games.

Disclaimer: Not mine

**The beginning, Part III**

Six months into the experiments and weeks of arguments and Xehanort had finally convinced Ansem they needed more help. Ansem agreed the experiment was growing beyond their capable minds. During a quiet dinner they had discussed the possible candidates.

That was how, Braig, Dilan, Even, Aeleus and Ienzo had joined the team. Ansem upon meeting them had come to the conclusion that they were bright individuals with strong ideas and personalities. They also possessed a hunger for knowledge that almost rivaled that of Xehanort's. With that in mind Ansem decided those five would make great contributions to his experiment.

The first time Ansem had gather the team to explain rules to the new members, Xehanort had seen a side of Ansem he never had before.

With the people of Radiant Garden he was a gentle ruler. He listened and solved their problems with ease and little commotion. The residents of Radiant Garden held such a high respect for Ansem they called him Ansem the Wise.

Ansem waved off the name with all the humility of a saint. Ansem never asked for anything in return which did not stop the residents of Radiant Garden from bestowing him with gifts and most of all their complete trust and respect.

The Ansem Radiant Garden knew was almost the same Ansem Xehanort knew, except with him Ansem was more relaxed. He was willing to show weakness, laughter and all the things Xehanort admired about him. But with his team, he was stern, cold and calculating he made sure the others understood the importance of their experiment and how imperative it was for all of them to keep it a secret.

The cold look Ansem had given Braig, Dilan, Even, Aeleus and Ienzo was enough to make the young men never wish to go against Ansem. It was then Xehanort realized how different Ansem was and he idly wondered how it would feel like to have those cold eyes turned on himself, he shuddered and hoped the day would never come.

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A year into the project and they had developed a nice routine; Ansem had eased up on his new apprentices. The heartless, they had quickly discovered did not like the light much but not just any light, it seemed the heartless absolutely abhorred bright light.

Ansem had theorized the heartless could sense the light the brightness or purity in a person's heart. The more pure a person's heart was the more the heartless wanted to destroy that heart. Ansem had also theorized the heartless were born from the darkness in a person's heart.

Unfortunately theories were all they were. The only real conclusion was what Ansem had already known; the heartless came from the heart, but until they could find a way to test the other theories there was no definite answer to the light versus dark theories. Though thus they only knew the heartless hated the light, but they weren't sure why.

It had taken Ansem sleepless nights next to Xehanort for them to come up with an adequate light frequency that could destroy a heartless. That light however took much power almost as much as it took to light the entirety of Radiant Garden and so far there had been no need to use the light.

They had also discovered the heartless hated light regardless of its potency and would become extremely hostile. Therefore when working with the creatures the lights were dimmed in an attempt to placate the heartless.

The conditions to working with the heartless were delicate. So it was in a dimly lit laboratory where their research took place.

The heartless were as mysterious as they were black. Ansem sometimes felt that he would never truly unlock the mystery behind their existence, but only sometimes. He was not a man to easily give up and he would not rest until he understood the heart and its mysteries.

Xehanort smiled at his teacher who was instructing the other's and turned to his make some notes on his log book. He heard Ansem tell Dilan to set the locks and finish up when there was a commotion. Slowly he turned to see what was happening.

One of the heartless cages was opened; Ansem and his apprentices stood frozen in shock as the small creature slithered about the room. It looked around its antennas twitching almost like a dog twitching its nose smelling. Smelling, searching looking for something its eyes locked on Xehanort.

The heartless stopped all movements for a fraction of a second before it launched itself at its target.

Xehanort watched in fascinated horror as the black creature melded onto the floor and like a black shadow moved beneath his feet. By the time Xehanort realized what was happening it was too late and he could not move.

The heartless rose from the ground and slowly travel up Xehanort's body. Regardless of the clothing he wore Xehanort could still feel the creature against his skin as it moved up his body. Xehanort felt a numbing cold left in the wake of the heartless' touch. And then he felt the creature curl its arm around his neck, coming into direct contact with his skin.

In that moment Xehanort knew what true fear was he felt the heartless sending tendrils into his heart. He felt it gripping his heart caressing his heart slowly, a purring noise escaping it lipless form, clearly enjoying the pleasure of touching a heart.

Xehanort was gripped with fear and he would have screamed except among that fear he could hear the heartless, feel the heartless, feel as it offered power beyond his imagination all in exchange of his heart.

And just as it came it was gone as the laboratory was flooded in light and the heartless and the hold on his heart retreaded. The heartless fell away from his body it have a loud shriek before it exploded into tiny pieces of light.

Ansem's apprentices quickly gather near Xehanort, but not too close. As they stood close to him, they stared as if waiting for him to explode like the heartless had. Xehanort however did not notice, he felt cold so cold.

Slowly seeing his friends shifting nervously out of his peripheral vision, Xehanort lifted his head and saw the curious looks his fellows were giving him. He fought the urge to shake, he would not show weakness.

Ansem broke through the semi circle and stood before Xehanort. Ansem could feel his heart pounding madly in his chest, had he been any slower he would have lost his apprentice.

"Are you alright?" He asked, gently taking Xehanort's face in his hands. Slowly he lifted his face making his apprentice look at him.

The amber eyes that looked back were calm inside however Xehanort shuddered. Unlike himself, Ansem was warm the hands on his face felt soothing and he was positive had the other not been there he could have embraced his teacher regardless of his protest and bask in warmth that seemed to radiate from him. Unfortunately they were not alone.

"I'm fine." The voice that spoke was steady and controlled and in Ansem's eyes Xehanort could see that his teacher was not fooled. Ansem however did not pursue the matter and let his hands rest on Xehanort's shoulders.

"Are you sure?" He asked once more, Xehanort nodded. The others seemed almost disappointed. Xehanort almost scoffed instead he shifted his eyes around and noticed not only had the light destroyed his attacker but the other heartless as well.

"The other heartless, they're gone." He whispered with some regret.

The others looked around taking in the fact but before anyone could say anything Ansem spoke.

"It does not matter." Ansem shook his head and began walking away leading Xehanort from the lab his apprentices following. "We may not know much about the heartless yet, but as far as I can tell they will not cease to exist. There will be more."

Ansem thought about reprimanding Dilan but it had been a mistake and like Xehanort had stated before, mistakes could be fixed; this one would not be repeated again.

"Come now, let us get some rest. We'll worry about heartless tomorrow." With the finality of the statement the matter was closed.

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That night sleep was beyond Xehanort's grasp as was rest, he paced his room. Earlier when the others had left Ansem had questioned him again, perhaps in hopes he would open up when he was away from the scrutiny of his fellow apprentice's, that however had not been the case.

So far in their research Xehanort had been the only one to be touched by a heartless and that made him feel alone. He had wanted to tell Ansem what he had felt, but for some reason he had found himself unable and unwilling to put into words what he had felt.

The feelings the creature had created when it had touched him; touched his heart, there were no words. And so he had once again reassured Ansem of his well being and that had been that.

Xehanort stopped his pacing and stepped out of his room to wonder the vast of halls of the castle. He didn't want to think of the incident of his feelings but he could not escape them it was the only thing on his mind.

The heartless had made him feel fear, dread and helpless. It had made him feel as if he was drowning in a pool of water. He felt as if he was falling so far into the dark but there at the bottom of the endless dark was power, knowledge.

There was an intoxicating lure that had beckoned him inviting him to own such power such knowledge and all he had to do was give up himself. What frightened him the most was the fact he had wanted it; he had wanted the power regardless of the cost. When the heartless had left him he had felt empty, cold and wanton. Why? Why would he want such terrible powers?

Suddenly Ansem's words came back to him.

_"What I do believe is that you cannot change who you are regardless of your memory loss.__ If you, in the past, were a terrible person then you could not, possibly, be the person you are now. Your unconscious psyche would not allow it." _

If that was true then what did his feelings say about him? That he had been right all along and he had in fact been a terrible person, is that why now he craved power; wanted it no matter what the cost was to himself?

Xehanort stopped his aimless wondering he felt another shudder wrack his body as he blinked back tears. The door he had stopped before suddenly opened and he was bathed in light, he flinched.

Ansem stood at the threshold of the door looking surprised to find his apprentice at his door. Turning teary eyes to his teacher, Xehanort remembered how warm Ansem had felt how safe he always felt with the man. Without thinking Xehanort stepped in front of Ansem and wrapped his arms around his neck burying his face on the blond man's neck he shivered.

In response Ansem's arms went around Xehanort's waist holding him close. In retrospect he knew he could have sent his apprentice on his way but he could not Xehanort had looked so lost. The feeling of warm soft lips on his neck made Ansem tense.

"Xehanort." At his words Xehanort tightened his hold. He knew Ansem would push him away, but he would not let go, he would not let go of the only person who made him feel warm and safe. Ansem was his champion he would make everything alright, he would keep him sane, he would fix him, he had to.

"Please." It was a broken whisper and Ansem was aware that Xehanort was shaking. "The heartless it," Xehanort shivered again, "I'm so cold."

Ansem knew then without a doubt the encounter with the heartless had affected Xehanort more than he had led on. That thought was however brief as he pulled back and stared at Xehanort. What he saw made his heart feel tight, fear need, lust and love.

Xehanort looked upon his mentor and knew what Ansem was seeing in his face perhaps in another situation he would have respected Ansem's trepidation but not now. Ansem was so warm and Xehanort was afraid he would never feel warm again. Throwing all caution to the wind he closed the small chasm between them and kissed Ansem's lips.

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**A/N:** Next chapter is a lemon and I'm so sorry to leave it there it just that, though the entire story is finished and betaed, I still need to finish writing the lemon and then I need to send it to my beta so bear with me, please. This also means the part with the lemon will be cut out of the next chapter but I'll post a link on my profile page, to the entry on my LJ, where I'll post the full chapter. Thank you and let me know what you think so far.


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